Im happy but there is a heavy feeling of sadness in my heart that I just can't remove. Why am I like this?

What I am trying to say is that when you stop trying to change yourself into something you are not, you give yourself the gift of discovering yourself as you already are.

Most people that know me would probably describe me as a social, happy, and somewhat quirky person with a twisted sense of humor.

I was tired of fighting.

Everyone says the pet population is out of control. Everyone says you MUST spay or neuter your pets. No one wants to talk about how its almost $1,000 to spay or neuter a pet. Why is it so expensive if its so necessary? Animal shelters do it for free.

It’s the most beautiful and liberating thing in the world.

You are the masterpiece you came here to discover.

But unlike before, there is no more resistance to the sadness.

34-Million-Year-Old Snake Discovery Unveils Surprising Secrets About Reptile Evolution - Indian Defence Review

What most people don’t know unless they’ve looked more closely is that there is also an element of deep, profound sadness that has always been with me since as long as I can remember.

When I stopped trying to force myself to be something I am not, I gave myself the freedom of being who I am.

And the sadness?

My landlord just sold the house I’m renting from her. She included all fixtures, that I bought and installed. Does she have this right?

It’s still here.

So if you are sad - like me - then be sad.

So I finally threw my hands up and said something to the tune of “fuck it, since I can't seem to change, I’ll just be whatever I am then.”

‘Hamilton’ Original Cast Reunites for Tony Awards Medley — Watch - The Hollywood Reporter

It’s impossible to overstate the freedom and peace I discovered, and I realized the only one who had been keeping those from me was… me and my imagined standards and expectations for how I had imagined I should be.

This interpretation lead me on a path of self improvement, to fix what I considered to be “wrong” with myself.

Your job is not to be the manager of your life, but the one who discovers yourself fully.

Scientists Have Finally Measured How Fast Quantum Entanglement Happens - IFLScience

Now, this may sound like a story of failure and giving up, but it’s actually a story of liberation.

The sadness was still there.

Without resistance, sadness has a sense of beauty and depth I cannot find otherwise in life.

Which certification is most valuable in the IT field, and why?

Be who you already are.

I was tired of trying and failing.

It wasn’t until about 10 years ago that I finally fell out of that ferris wheel of trying and failing to fix myself.

Are Latter-day Saints watch the Secret Lives of Mormon Wives? And if so, what do you think?

In the absence of a should, I was free to be as I am.

I had run out of hope.

It’s difficult to put into words exactly what caused what, but to the best of my ability to describe it, I felt as if my will to keep fighting was beaten right out of me.

Here's Why This Year Will Be "Different" For Taylor Swift And Travis Kelce - BuzzFeed

Needless to say, my failed attempts to fix my sadness simply brought me more pain and suffering.

For much of my adult life, I interpreted this sadness as something being wrong - with either myself or my life in general.

It’s here now, writing to you.

Plants have a secret, second set of roots deep underground that scientists didn't know about - Live Science

But no matter what I read or practiced, I could never make the sadness budge for longer than a few fleeting moments - and even then, it was likely due to me being distracted from the sensation of sadness rather than anything actually shifting.

You are like me, then.